What's my purpose?

One scarf.
Forty thousand scarves.
A million scarves.

Bee 1 gets a scarf in the winter to keep warm.
Bee 2 gets a scarf in the winter to keep warm.
Bee 3 gets a scarf in the winter to keep warm.

We could go on but the idea is clear.

We look after one bee and the other bee. But it doesn't matter. Ultimately the organism looks after itself. If Bee 1 is looked after but Bee 8357 is not looked after, Bee 1 is still just as expendable and replaceable as Bee 8357. It doesn't matter.

We look after me and we look after you, but ultimately we are only a cell in the organism. We serve for a little while and then we are shed and replaced. No matter how much care we take of the cell, the person, the bee, it will still die and be replaced.

So. A bee's purpose is to work for the colony. To ensure its survival and its reproduction to a new generation. So a cell's purpose is to convert glucose into energy to ensure the survival of the being and thus the cell's reproduction. My purpose? To work for the survival of the homo sapien species? To reproduce? It doesn't appear that I have much to offer towards the survival of the species. I have no offspring and I will continue to use resources until my time is up. What's my purpose?

I think therefore I am

It’s all such a construct. Constructed by who? Constructed by what? Constructed where?

I am a null and void - ‘I’ does not exist. Just as ‘you’ does not exist. The universe began with a big bang. Began? What was before? Where is the universe? What contains it?

Infinity?

No. Infinity cannot be an answer. If there is a statement that something began, then there must have been something before - even if the before is so long ago that it is beyond our little comprehension, there still must have been a before.

So with this concept in mind, could the answer be that it does not exist after all? That its all just an illusion? Could be - but who (or what) does this illusion belong to? Why am I conscious in this illusion? What the hell is consciousness?!?

I say I am conscious. Who says that? And what does conscious mean? What does ‘I’ mean? Consciousness is a construct. I is a construct. What is it constructed by? The conclusion is ultimately that I doesn’t exist even though it thinks that it does. I think therefore I am. But I can only believe in the reality of I. You cannot prove your thoughts to I and I cannot prove its thoughts to you. I has never experienced your thoughts. You think therefore you are… Prove it.

I can only tell you that I think. And you can only perceive the consequence of my thoughts - you cannot experience my thoughts. Your perception of my thoughts is experienced through your thoughts and therefore not mine.

My jumper is blue. Blue is a construct that we have labelled. Blue is not a reality. There is no way of knowing that your perception of the colour of my jumper is the same as my perception of the same object.

So. Can you prove to me that you think? Can you prove to me that you are conscious? 

I perceive you to be conscious but this perception is marred by my reality. I cannot prove to myself that my consciousness is not an illusion, so how can I believe in your consciousness which may well be an illusion of my illusion!

It all gets a bit confusing really… As far as I can tell, I cannot prove my existence to myself so maybe none of it exists in the first instance.

Why Are We Fighting

Is Life An Incurable Disease?

The infant is born howling
and we laugh.
The dead man smiles
and we cry.

Such a paradox. Is seems that death is the sole moment in a being's existence that is truly peaceful; at peace; without war. How is it possible that we, as humans, can be afraid of this moment?

In truth, I suspect that most people - if they should reflect and be honest with themselves - I suspect that they are afraid of other people/beings dying. Afraid of being left behind. Afraid of being alone and having to deal with those feelings without the person who is no longer available to fight in the wars.

What a species. How dare we deny peace? How dare we deny tranquility and openness and acceptance and freedom?

Humanity. What a word. The OED offers three definitions
1. Human beings collectively
2. The quality of being humane; benevolence
3. (humanities) Learning concerned with human culture

We pride ourselves on our humanity.
We are proud of being human?
We are proud of our benevolence?
These two - human and benevolence - in my perspective, rarely co-exist amicably. Humans are not a benevolent species. An infant in born howling and we laugh? A dead man smiles and we cry? Where is the humanity is such emotions? We celebrate the pain of the infant being forced into the world, forced into consciousness. Does this infant want this? Does the infant have a choice?
The dead man smiles. He is finally free. He is a peace. No longer conscious. No longer at war. We mourn his freedom and his peace. Why do we mourn? Humanity is selfish. Humanity is ambitious in its own illusionary existence.

The political battles for power are no more than a lie - they are an attempt at a 'face-saving front' to hide the lie. It is unacceptable to steal your rivals' food / home / husband / life. So we pretend we're fighting for the good of 'others' - fighting to offer 'others' a 'better life'. What do the 'others' stand to gain from you battling it out, throwing vile words and sentiments, just to hold a position of power that is solely a construct of the imagination of a being that will finally no longer fight when the drag of consciousness departs.

How dare you fight on my behalf.

Do you fight because you fear to be overwhelmed by the illusion of your own consciousness? That consciousness will not will. Death will win. Why is it all about winning and loosing? There is, after all, only one solitary outcome. Death. The end of conscious awareness. The moment of peace and freedom. You cannot fight death. Death will overcome your consciousness no matter how hard you battle during your illusionary blink of being. You can fight to be rich. You can fight to be powerful. You can fight to kill others. Doesn't matter. It's all construct and it is not yours to hold. When the peace comes, you will be equaled. You will no be. There will be no you; no me; no we; no reality.

We spend our life working to better ourselves. What a nonsense. Precisely what will it achieve? A peaceful life? Contentedness? Prosperity? Hope? Love? Joy? Hate? Acceptance? Humility? Superiority? Death.
What is your end goal when you confront your emotions head-on and look at yourself? Your end goal is nonsense. The outcome is always the same and your impact, your individuality, your consciousness is just a temporary illusion that will end in time. The only question is how much time?

This very much depends upon what time is. An illusionary construct of conscious awareness? So why bother? I bother because my conscious illusion tells 'me' that 'I' exist. Therefore 'I' experience time even though there is no time. There is no me. There is no birth, ageing, or death.

So tell me, why do we do it? Why do humans strive for a sense of individuality. Strive for a peace within their being - in their mind or consciousness. A being that is only an illusion of the collective making. It is all entirely meaningless, purposeless and ultimately: it is not real. There is no peace until consciousness is extinguished. There is no freedom from consciousness until the moment in which the physical illusion is broken in 'death'.

Yes, yes, I understand the construct of 'enlightenment' but it is just another construct of the conscious human. Enlightenment of the kind that we all seek - however overtly - will come when we shed our garment of consciousness and 'die'. Then, and only then, will the imagined dressing of enlightenment be achieved and then, and only then, will it not be relevant. The moment that the 'I' is dead is the moment in which the overused term 'I' will be guaranteed in it meaninglessness.

We seek an unachievable enlightenment? And that seek is an inevitable and unavoidable part of the human condition?

Keep swimming.