It’s all such a construct. Constructed by who? Constructed by what? Constructed where?
I am a null and void - ‘I’ does not exist. Just as ‘you’ does not exist. The universe began with a big bang. Began? What was before? Where is the universe? What contains it?
Infinity?
No. Infinity cannot be an answer. If there is a statement that something began, then there must have been something before - even if the before is so long ago that it is beyond our little comprehension, there still must have been a before.
So with this concept in mind, could the answer be that it does not exist after all? That its all just an illusion? Could be - but who (or what) does this illusion belong to? Why am I conscious in this illusion? What the hell is consciousness?!?
I say I am conscious. Who says that? And what does conscious mean? What does ‘I’ mean? Consciousness is a construct. I is a construct. What is it constructed by? The conclusion is ultimately that I doesn’t exist even though it thinks that it does. I think therefore I am. But I can only believe in the reality of I. You cannot prove your thoughts to I and I cannot prove its thoughts to you. I has never experienced your thoughts. You think therefore you are… Prove it.
I can only tell you that I think. And you can only perceive the consequence of my thoughts - you cannot experience my thoughts. Your perception of my thoughts is experienced through your thoughts and therefore not mine.
My jumper is blue. Blue is a construct that we have labelled. Blue is not a reality. There is no way of knowing that your perception of the colour of my jumper is the same as my perception of the same object.
So. Can you prove to me that you think? Can you prove to me that you are conscious?
I perceive you to be conscious but this perception is marred by my reality. I cannot prove to myself that my consciousness is not an illusion, so how can I believe in your consciousness which may well be an illusion of my illusion!
It all gets a bit confusing really… As far as I can tell, I cannot prove my existence to myself so maybe none of it exists in the first instance.
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ReplyDeleteYour thinking is brutally honest, relentless and uncompromising. It obviously allows you to go to the edges - and beyond. Impossible to resist going there oneself when following you.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about your question “who am I“?
I had a dream. I was sitting with a group of people. One person disrupted the otherwise peaceful atmosphere with his general threatening and unpleasant demeanour.
Suddenly "I" became aware of dreaming. The "I" I was looking from was obviously a different "I" from the one that appeared in the dream. The one in the dream was clearly seen as a product of the dreamer. And so was the threatening person in the dream and everything else. With that there appeared choice. The dreamer can leave the dream as it is and let it develop into a nightmare. Why? Just because the dreamer can do that. But equally the dreamer can stop the unpleasantness. Why? Well, why should the dreamer create an unpleasant atmosphere in the dream?
And thus "I" found myself making the unpleasant person in the dream pleasant.
On waking up "I" I was not sure anymore which "I" I should identify with. There is the "I" referring to the dreamer - and the "I" of the dreamed. Who was waking up ?
The "I" that was dreamed is at the mercy of the forces that created it. It is volatile. It is full of endless possibilities: Any emotion can be expressed through it. Any story can be built around it. It appears and disappears - it dies.
The "I" referring to the dreamer in contrast is beyond space and time. It creates space and time, but cannot possibly participate in it. It cannot die, because it never was born.
The clarity of your thinking is needed for us not to constantly confuse and mix up the two "I"s. Then "to be in the world, but not of the world" becomes a wonderfully entertaining balancing act !